Joke Quotes

I joke to people in the press that I realize I'm not black, I'm actually white. But I've got these roots in black American music. I love it.

When I'm writing the book I'm laughing at just how overblown the characters seemed. How full of himself he seems. But I didn't get far enough in the series to really drive the joke of it home.

Americans do believe in progress and there is almost certainly a kernel of truth in the joke.

Gene Autry was the most. It may sound like a joke - Go and have a look in my bedroom, It's covered with Gene Autry posters. He was my first musical influence.

I always thought security was a joke at New York airports, and in U.S. airports to begin with. You can go through any European or Middle Eastern airport and things are a lot tougher.

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

The why is what makes journalism an adult game. The why is what makes policy coherent and useful. The why is what transforms bureaucrats and foot soldiers and political leaders into viable instruments of rational and affirmative change. The why is everything and without it, the very suggestion of human progress becomes a cosmic joke.

I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something up and pay it off with a laugh or a scare.

Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway.

I've heard every pie joke in the book. I'm still waiting for an original one.

What other culture could have produced someone like Hemmingway and not seen the joke?

Generally speaking, we get the joke. We know that the free market is nonsense. We know that the whole point is to game the system, to beat the market or at least find someone who will pay you a lot of money, 'cause they're convinced that there is a free lunch.

The joke in our family is that we can cry reading the phone book.

For the amount of talent I had - and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke - I enjoyed a tremendous career.

I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them. We laugh to keep from crying.

Most people, when they hear the disease name, it's all they know about it. It sounds so mild. When I first was sick, for the first 10 years or so, I was dismissed. I was ridiculed and told I was lazy. It was a joke.

I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

You have to struggle a bit, hustle a little, and be willing to go bankrupt. Once you're willing to do that, everything opens up and you get the freedom. My joke is that next year, I'll make the first film that costs zero dollars.

Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there.

A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was quite sure it was a practical joke.

I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't.

Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of patronizing.

But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to hustle in my own way. I can't tell you how frustrating it was that they didn't get that. No joke - I'd leave meetings crying all the time.

I think those that are holier-than-thou don't make jokes. They take themselves too seriously and Peeta doesn't take himself too seriously. This is what I believe in and I'm comfortable with that and I can make a joke here and there.

That was really so upsetting when you are trying to pass on some very serious knowledge and be basically, treated worse than a student coming off the street because his father pays the tuition. Come on. Give me a break. This is no school. This is a joke.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.

Sex is God's joke on human beings.