Quotes By Robin Williams

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

Reality: What a concept!

You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

In America they really do mythologise people when they die.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.