Toilet Quotes

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.

My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

Acting is invigorating. But I don't analyse it too much. It's like a dog smelling where it's going to do its toilet in the morning.

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.

When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet roll, you know your life has changed.

Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.

I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim.

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

And I have this little litany of things they can do. And the first one, of course, is to write - every day, no excuses. It's so easy to make excuses. Even professional writers have days when they'd rather clean the toilet than do the writing.

I think the bottom line for me and for Newsweek is that there were a lot of - we did retract this specific matter about the Koran and the toilet for the reasons that you just cited.

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.

NASA asked me to create meals for the space shuttle. Thai chicken was the favorite. I flew in a fake space shuttle, but I have no desire to go into space after seeing the toilet.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

Well, I've thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don't know what I'd do.

Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet.

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that's like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell.

I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?

I've always loved 3D. In fact, as a kid, I was exposed to 3D at an early age because my grandfather was a specialist of 3D in cinematheques. And then my cousin put it in 'Science of Sleep' with toilet paper tube cities. But he was a specialist and I always wanted to do something in 3D.

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

There are some ghost stories in Japan where - when you are sitting in the bathroom in the traditional style of the Japanese toilet - a hand is actually starting to grab you from beneath. It's a very scary story.