Show Quotes

No, no, no separate but equal... never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it came to rest in the bastard hybrid known as the Daily Show.

When I'm asked how to succeed in show business, I always say I haven't the foggiest.

Paris and Nicky Hilton? Those girls will show up to the opening of a phone book. It's like a big joke.

I was sad to see anybody leave, we had a very nice family on that show. I was very sad to see momma go, Victoria and especially Linda. My god that was my wife on the show, in fact my wife calls her wife.

Well the first thing I'd say is that I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to do to show my remorse other than to say that I'm remorseful.

No further evidence is needed to show that 'mental illness' is not the name of a biological condition whose nature awaits to be elucidated, but is the name of a concept whose purpose is to obscure the obvious.

Doing a half-hour TV show is a dream.

You've got to know business before you go to show business.

To me, what makes an artist is a unique personality that they're not afraid to let show.

There has to be a measure of faith. That's what this business is all about: trusting in something that may never show up, that you have no concrete proof of.

I mean, we make a 15-minute show that's incredibly silly, even though all of our scenic designers, puppet builders. animators, everybody that works on the show take their work very seriously. So somebody saying that we'd even be in contention for a very respectable award is really nice.

I look at myself like a show dog. I've got to keep her clipped and trimmed and in good shape.

I wouldn't want to be a talk show host. That's another awkward compliment people make. 'You should have your own talk show.' And I think, no thank you.

I had no idea how big the show was at the time we were doing it because I was always working.

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing.

It's not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has a big heart at its center. Other cartoon shows have people crap on each other and make racist jokes. But I don't think people tune in for that. I just don't think a show lasts for 10 years without a heart.

My talk show takes place in bed, in Italy.

I think anyone that grew up in the '70s and '80s grew up with Bob Barker and Wink Martindale and I think that was just always... when you were a game show host, you were the man of the hour.

Sometimes it's easier to show than it is to tell.

You open the show with a bang, then don't come back on for 45 minutes.

I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.

I wanted to show that crime doesn't pay. If you are saved and accept the Lord, you cannot use that as an excuse to avoid punishment.

First of all, the Jewish religion has a great deal in common with the Christian religion because, as Rabbi Gillman points out in the show, Christianity is based on Judaism. Christ was Jewish.

I thought that I held the record of most appearances on the Bob Hope Show, but I think - It's Brooke Shields.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

Life is a jest; and all things show it. I thought so once; but now I know it.

I think any actor worth their salt wants to show as much versatility as they possibly can.

Most producers I've known were writers first, and writing is a vital part of any game show. You could easily argue that the writing is the key ingredient that makes 'Jeopardy!' so great.

I don't want to sound pretentious, but you could hire a bunch of monkeys to be on a TV show, and if it's successful, then everything's perfect and everybody's happy.

To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.