Say Quotes

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others.

I think my mouth just opens and I spontaneously say things that occur to me.

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

Well, there's not a day goes by when I don't get up and say thank you to somebody.

A lot of people say they want to get out of pain, and I'm sure that's true, but they aren't willing to make healing a high priority. They aren't willing to look inside to see the source of their pain in order to deal with it.

Everything people say I couldn't do I've done.

I work very hard, but when God opens that door for you - when life opens that door for you, I should say - I think it's important to be giving, to return the love back.

While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.

I hate a man who always says "yes" to me. When I say "no" I like a man who also says "no."

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?

Dreams are real as long as they last. Can we say more of life?

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.

Women have a lot of power in private life. There are many men who would say, 'Hey, women already rule my life.' But with women, more is more. The more there are, the more the world gets used to seeing them. We change the culture. We begin to expand options and lead and manage.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

Why should I say I will retire in three or four years? You retire the very moment you utter those words.

People are going to say what they say. I know sometimes I say things; I offend people.

The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

If forced to choose between the penitentiary and the White House for four years, I would say the penitentiary, thank you.

The truth was you can't continue to spend the kind of money our spending on all these entitlement programs. I think we need more people in public life who are willing to say, no, we can't afford certain things. No, we can't do certain things.

I still want to be as approachable and relatable as possible - when I meet fans and they're crying, I'll say, 'Calm down, there's nothing to cry about.'

Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

Have you heard that it was good to gain the day? I also say it is good to fall, battles are lost in the same spirit in which they are won.

Live, so you do not have to look back and say: 'God, how I have wasted my life.'

I feel like if I had my personality but was an OB/GYN, you would be psyched. You'd be like, 'My chatty, pop-culture-interested but plainspoken, wants-to-talk-about-clothes but serious-minded doctor.' I feel like I would clean up with patients. That's kind of a cocky thing to say.

Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes.

This is what I learned: that everybody is talented, original and has something important to say.

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong.