Were Quotes

If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.

It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way.

After your death you will be what you were before your birth.

Whether you were talking about Pillsbury, Burger King, Godfather's, the National Restaurant Association, in each one of those situations, I had a daunting problem that I had to solve. And I used the same business principles to approach the problem and, more importantly, solve the problem in every one of the situations.

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.

You know, in 1975 I couldn't get a job in New York City because I was American. The kitchens were predominantly run by French, Swiss, German, and basically I got laughed at. I had education, I had experience, but got laughed at because I was American.

I have more memories than if I were a thousand years old.

The campaigns of Steve Forbes, Pat Buchanan, Ross Perot, and John McCain all outperformed expectations on their support from independent voters. They made no effort to shy away from ideology, but conveyed to voters that their policies were driven by principle, not party talking points.

Politically there were failures. And also on the personal level, there were tremendous failures.

Sometimes, I feel I am really blessed to be blind because I probably would not last a minute if I were able to see things.

My teenage years were exactly what they were supposed to be. Everybody has their own path. It's laid out for you. It's just up to you to walk it.

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

When I was a little kid, I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there, and a mummy. When they were all hassling him, this guy who bought the house - I can't believe I remember this - he said to them, 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

When you're safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you're having an adventure you wish you were safe at home.

The most experience I had in the criminology field is playing a thug as an actor. That was my first paid job. The police academy at the college was paying people to reenact the calls that potential cops would get. So I got to play thugs and people who were unruly.

Our freedoms were born in the ideals of the Enlightenment and the musket fires of an historic revolution.

There cannot be a God because if there were one, I could not believe that I was not He.

We cannot calculate the numbers of people who left, fled or were fished out of Europe just ahead of the Holocaust.

There were a lot of people who were a little afraid of the rage or blaming stance I was taking, and find what I am doing now more refreshing.

The 1960s were about releasing ourselves from conventional society and freeing ourselves.

We would betray our values and play into our enemies' hands if we were to treat Muslims differently than anyone else. In fact, to cave to popular sentiment would be to hand a victory to the terrorists, and we should not stand for that.

As far as I knew white women were never lonely, except in books. White men adored them, Black men desired them and Black women worked for them.

It would be great if politics were fact-based, but it is not, and it is surely not nuance-based. What works in a classroom or a think tank does not work on Capitol Hill or in the White House. Obama sometimes seems to be running the Brookings Institution, not the country.

Live your life as though your every act were to become a universal law.

I grew up with a deep belief that wherever our troops fought, they were on the side of the angels.

My parents were the same in the pulpit as they were at home. I think that's where a lot of preachers' kids get off base sometimes. Because they don't see the same things at both places.