Quotes By James Thurber

The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.

The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.

Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed - but never the husband).

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

Love is what you've been through with somebody.

The animals that depend on instinct have an inherent knowledge of the laws of economics and of how to apply them; Man, with his powers of reason, has reduced economics to the level of a farce which is at once funnier and more tragic than Tobacco Road.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all.

My opposition to Interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language.

The sanity of the average banquet speaker lasts about two and a half months; at the end of that time he begins to mutter to himself, and calls out in his sleep.

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth.

Don't get it right, just get it written.

The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy, and dead.

Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.

Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.