Twitter Quotes

A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My standup isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.

I joined Twitter and you read a lot of the comments. You're biting your lip and you want to reply but you know a headline will be made from it and you don't want to give people the satisfaction.

I don't know if I've learned anything about people, but I've learned about Twitter.

America pays its bills. It always has. It always will. The fact that Washington is now debating whether to honor its debts and obligations, then, should come as a surprise. But playing political football with a necessary vote to raise the nation's debt ceiling has become as predictable as a Twitter rant from Charlie Sheen.

I refresh Twitter as thoughtlessly as some twirl their hair.

I'm not a fan of Twitter.

The honest-to-goodness answer is that Twitter tells me everything, and I have calluses on my fingers from all the mouse-clicking.

I prefer to connect with fans from the stage. Like, I don't have a Twitter page, or anything like that. So for me, that's what the show is about. For me - is a way to interact with fans; being up onstage and showing them, through music - which is all I really know - the best way to say thank you.

We'd all survive if Twitter shut down for a short while during major riots. Social media isn't any more important than a train station, a road or a bus service. We don't worry about police temporarily closing those. Common sense. If riot info and fear is spreading by Facebook and Twitter, shut them off for an hour or two, then restore.

Twitter is the most amazing medium for a comedy writer. I can't get in every idea I want on the show no matter how hard I try to bully the other writers, so it's a way of me getting out other comic ideas and immediately getting feedback.

I think Twitter is great.

I'm not a Facebook/Twitter gal, but my husband is.

Twitter should ban my mother.

If you look at my Twitter feed it is 99% links, but 1% is me responding and 1% of a big number is a big number.

The whole Twitter phenomenon is really indicative of what's happening in this country. And I say this in condemnation of myself as much as anyone else - we are growing into a nation that has no time, desire or capacity for truth. All we can handle is 140 characters of knowledge.