Quotes By Louis C. K.

I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.

Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.

I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

Life is full of horrible mistakes.

It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.

When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'

Oh, I love stand-up.

I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.

For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.

Everything that people say is testable.

Perception is created and twisted so quickly.

I was an awkward kid.

I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you're not doing something, you know?

It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.

America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.

You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.

A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.

A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.

If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.

I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.

You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.

I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about.

I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.