Quotes By Larry David

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.

I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.

If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?

Women love a self-confident bald man.

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.

I don't like people cleaning my room.

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.

Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base.

I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally.

When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street - things like that.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I can't stand reading anything that I've said.

I have quite a house. People come over and I go, 'I know, I'm sorry.'

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

You write about what you know.