Quotes By Larry David
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
Larry David
I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.
Larry David
I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.
Larry David
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Larry David
I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
Larry David
Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.
Larry David
I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure.
Larry David
I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'
Larry David
When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.
Larry David
All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.
Larry David
I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
Larry David