Quotes By Josh Billings

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.