Quotes By Josh Billings

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.