Quotes By Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.