Quotes By Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.