Quotes By Hal Sparks

You'd think after 8 years of things called 'The Patriot Act' and 'No Child Left Behind' they would know that we have figured out the 'Call it what it ain't' PR ploy by now, but... um... no.

It's better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money.

I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that.

I like struggle.

Political and social change is always a stagger-step process. One step forward, two steps back. They want you to give up.

If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life.

The important thing is having genuine regard for your audience.

Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions.

All musicians need a day job in the beginning. Unless they still live with their parents, I guess. I'm just lucky that my day job is simply another form of art.

Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.

I'm as heterosexual as any person need be. I'm open about my relationships - or lack thereof - in my own life, because I want to make the case that gay isn't contagious. It's not something that you can catch or learn or choose.

There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing.

If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.

If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.

I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that. As my skill and knowledge of the instrument grew, I found lead started to come naturally. Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer. Ha ha!

Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids.

Political and social change is always a stagger-step process.

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song.

I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security.

You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love.

There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing. Unlike being in a band or a play or something, I don't have to rely on anyone else but me.

I'm a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community.

If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture.

I've been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old.

People only have guilty pleasures when they crowbar pleasure down their throat all the time and then they reach for the brownies. Then you should feel guilty because you're killing your body and that's something to be guilty about.

As a stand up, and often in acting, there is no place for the most intense feelings. Rage, genuine sorrow, naked hope... These things don't fit on a comedy stage and if you act you'll get to express them once in a while. Music is a place for the intensely personal.

I try to be as ignorant about things as I can.

People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction.

Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.

Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer.