Quotes By Doug Coupland

If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?

Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely.

In our heads we're all about 33 years old.

I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me.

Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value.

Fate is for losers.

People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.

If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis.

I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'

Christmas makes everything twice as sad.

Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away.

There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world's probably a better place for it.

The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all.

You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself.

I've got 911 on speed dial.

Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.

Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories, they die. Serves them right.

Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found.

The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents, the more quickly you become them.

Where does personality end and brain damage begin?

I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Purchased experiences don't count.

You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life.

Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life.

It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.

We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.

If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive.

If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us.

Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.