Quotes By Doug Coupland

Christmas makes everything twice as sad.

Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away.

The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all.

I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'

Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories, they die. Serves them right.

Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found.

You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself.

I've got 911 on speed dial.

Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life.

People will always choose more money over more sex.

The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents, the more quickly you become them.

Where does personality end and brain damage begin?

Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.

You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Purchased experiences don't count.

We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.

Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life.

It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.

If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us.

Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car.

Quick. Name ten dead redheads.

On TV people look at your hair and then they look at your skin, and then they look at your clothes, and by the time they're listening to what you're saying, you're off the screen.

If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive.

You spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young.

A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.

Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.

You can never become rich unless you like rich people.

The universe hands you opportunities for a while, and if you don't take them, the universe says to itself, 'Oh I see, this person doesn't like opportunities' and stops giving them to you.

Star Trek characters never go shopping.