Quotes By Doug Coupland

New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108.

Every single moment is a coincidence.

Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.

I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock.

If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil.

Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos.

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

Everybody past a certain age, regardless of how they look on the outside, pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives.

Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again.

If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window.

When you crop the photo, you tell a lie.

The modern economy isn't about the redistribution of wealth, it's about the redistribution of time.

God is what keeps us together after the love is gone.

There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Feeling unique is no indication of uniqueness.

Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.

One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do.

If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?

Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely.

In our heads we're all about 33 years old.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.

Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value.

Fate is for losers.

People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.

If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis.

I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me.