Quotes By Dane Cook

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I'm ready willing and able to give it a shot.

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks.

I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.

I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.

You've gotta share what's going on in your mind.

I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more.

When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.

I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere.

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.

I'm interested in doing everything and anything that I can to squeeze that creativity out of my brain. I guess I'm sort of a performance rat.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

In the year 3000, everything will be instant.

I get so into the moment.

Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.