Quotes By Chris Rock

I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

A man is only as faithful as his options.

America is the greatest country in the whole world.

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.

When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.

I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.

Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.

My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.