Quotes By Chris Rock

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack.

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

Pretty girls have problems too.

My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

George Bush hates midgets.

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

I live way below my means.

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.

You can only offend me if you mean something to me.

If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

I love being famous. It's almost like being white.