Funeral Quotes

I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness.

People are scared to make something that doesn't look like another film that made a lot of money. It means we get 'Four Weddings And A Funeral' made again and again.

An obituary should be an exercise in contemporary history, not a funeral oration.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

You can have money piled to the ceiling but the size of your funeral is still going to depend on the weather.

Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.

If anyone at my funeral has a long face, I'll never speak to him again.