Quotes By Margaret Cho

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.

I am star-struck but also I've known a lot of people for a long time. Like I'm super star-struck by Grant Lee Phillips and Jon Brion but I've known them for 17 years. So it's kinda like weird to be star-struck still, but I still am!

I think self-deprecation is such a disease, and I want to cure everybody of it and so that's my contribution.

The incognito of lower class employment is an effective cloak for any dagger one might wish to hide.

I am a big 'Ellen' fan. I have been one for quite a long time now. I used to do the local news talk shows with her in San Francisco, when we were both still kids.

I'm writing a record of comedy songs. I'm doing all these collaborations with artists. I bring them lyrics and they write the music to it.

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.

Babies got it going on!

I love New York. I love working here.

My life is anything but typical.

Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.

To start telling people that you're beautiful, or just feel beautiful, just start acting like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And it really improves everything! Because your sort of psyche responds to it - like this is truthful!

I love singing and that's kind of my new thing.

When you feel powerful, you are willing to stand up for your rights, you are willing to stand up for what you believe in, you're more willing to stand up and be counted.

It's very hard for a woman in comedy. It's hard for women to be bold and not care what anyone, particularly men, think. Maybe that is why so many women comics are lesbians.

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach.

Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.

Usually, if you smile at them and show some interest in the toy, they will give it to you. That's a straight up Democrat move!

Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.

I think it is really sad that when people lose their homes they kind of lose their minds too.

Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore.' People don't give them enough credit for how entertaining they are.

My former bullies pay extra to come backstage and meet me after shows, and I pretend not to know them in front of their friends. It is the most divine pleasure to exact the revenge of the brutalized child that resides within.

I am into belly dancing. I used to only hang with comics. Now I have friends who are dancers, and my whole house has a harem feel.

Politics has less to do with where you live than where your heart is.

The newest victims of the nation's foreclosure crisis are pets, which is extremely distressing to me.

My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English.

Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate.

I think the best way to get over your body issues is to just flaunt your body at every opportunity.

Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.