Quotes By Laurence J. Peter

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.