Quotes By Laurence J. Peter

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?