Quotes By Laurence J. Peter

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.