Quotes By Laurence J. Peter

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.