Quotes By Bill Watterson

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

A real job is a job you hate.

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!