Quotes By Ambrose Bierce

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.