Quotes By Todd Barry

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place.

I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film.

Well, I have since seen you at Tinkle. It's a comedy show started by David Cross, me and Jon Benjamin. It features a wide variety of acts for all tastes and seasons.

You always think you're better than you are in the beginning.

People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people.

I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.

I loved Australia. I was very successful there.

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also.

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires.

And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all.

I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy.

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.

People in New York love having roof parties.

I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.