Quotes By Todd Barry

I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.

I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value.

I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show.

Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.

I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage.

I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started.

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place.

I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film.

Well, I have since seen you at Tinkle. It's a comedy show started by David Cross, me and Jon Benjamin. It features a wide variety of acts for all tastes and seasons.

You always think you're better than you are in the beginning.

People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people.

I loved Australia. I was very successful there.

I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also.

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires.

If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.

And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all.