Quotes By Robert Benchley

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.