Quotes By Kathy Griffin

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.

I'm basically always on tour.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.

The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

I am in love with Larry David.

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

My act is based on my life.

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.