Quotes By John Cleese

England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are.

I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.

But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with.

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered.

I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.

I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such a warm, friendly and encouraging presence to have when I started in television. He was also a great comic actor to learn from.

Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!

Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such as synchronicity. Quantum physics suggests it's possible, so why not?

Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox until you do your final shot.

I would say that I began with a very edgy, very driven personality and after a sufficient amount of therapy over many, many years, I managed to become rather relaxed and happy.

I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.

If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'

My compulsion to always be working has become less strong and my current business is purely down to this enormous alimony. If I wasn't doing this I'd be making documentaries about wildlife and other subjects that interest me.