Quotes By Helen Rowland

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little "personal characteristics."

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America."

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.

The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.