Quotes By Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.