Quotes By George Burns

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.