Quotes By Bill Maher

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.

President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.